Do you want to be right, or do you want to feel FREE? Do you want to win the argument or be at PEACE? A lot of us struggle with anger and resentment from past hurts. We may even currently feel resentful from not feeling heard or having our needs met in our relationships.
Forgiveness and lack of it can take a toll on us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It can even affect our physical health. It takes emotional intelligence and maturity to practice forgiveness on a daily basis. There can be the horrific traumas and grievances from our past to the little annoyances every day that fill us with anger, resentment and rage.
There are a lot of books on the subject of forgiveness, and much can be said. For what it is worth, I am sharing my two cents. It takes courage to work on ourselves in this area. Yet with true commitment to the process, there is healing and forgiveness. Our deep seated anger can come from many sources. You will do well to work through these issues with a safe person, therapist, coach, recovery sponsor or counselor from your spiritual place of worship. Give yourself the gift of letting go.
In the meantime, here are well known phrases from recovery rooms that can be helpful.
"How important is it?"
"I didn't cause it; I cannot control it and I can't cure it."
"Do not let someone live rent free in your head."
"It is not about me."
"Forgiveness is for me."
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
"Expectations are pre-meditated resentments."
In my work with clients on boundary and communication skills, we discuss ways to keep emotional safety and how to navigate relationships with difficult people. It takes work, self-control and spiritual practice. Prayer, breathing, meditation, mindfulness and taking a pause before reacting are some tools to try . You know what is really unfortunate? When we have a valid reason for being angry, the reactor who acts out in a fit of rage now becomes the person with the problem.
So, I ask...do you want to be RIGHT, or do you want to be comfortable and at peace to live a life of freedom?
I will close with one of my favorite thoughts my late husband often shared. He said, "when you forgive and let go of resentments, it is like taking rocks out of your shoes you did not even know were there."
Unload your backpack. Empty out your shoes. Break the chains.
*My name is Jennifer. I am a certified life coach. I am currently taking forgiveness life coach certification course to better help my clients to life a life of freedom, hope and new beginnings.