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HEY MR. BARTENDER!

Updated: Aug 19, 2023


Friday night. Time to kick off the weekend. A stop at my favorite department store then off to grab a little dinner. I pull up to a crowded restaurant and there was one seat at the bar left. Perfect! Ordered my salad, glass of red wine and fresh baked sourdough bread. Journal and pen in hand, I was minding my own business. I was ready to relax and enjoy my own company. A couple sitting next to me was having a feast with a variety of colorful dishes. We had a friendly chat about all the decadent food in front of them. A man sitting next to them smiled at me every time I looked up. (Ugh, here we go.) Then, another man pulls up and sat right next to me. He started asking me questions. I politely engaged in conversation. Retired, just came back from golf and hot yoga, blah, blah, blah...grabbing a quick drink. He tells me some of his stories, including a nasty one. (Seriously what the hell?!) Just as he was about ready to pay his bill he asked me to read it because he couldn't see it. When I told him the total, he said the receipt couldn't have been his. I looked at it and noticed the bartender gave this guy both of our receipts! I called him over and asked why he gave him my receipt. He said, "oh I thought you were together, I thought you were waiting for him." AWKWARD! I said, "no, I am not, I will take my bill please." The bartender said, "I am sorry, I just thought..." So uncomfortable! How dare the bartender assume! If a woman is sitting at a bar by herself, does that mean she is automatically looking for a man? If a woman is having a meal alone is it assumed she doesn't have someone in her life? Can't she just do her thing sometimes?


Aren't bartenders typically good at "reading the room?" I was writing in my journal, and voraciously eating my loaf of delicious sourdough. Did I really look like someone on the hunt? Then, Mr. Smiley Face got up and sat in Mr. Hot Yoga's seat and immediately started talking game. Time to go. So annoying!


You know Mr. Bartender, I assumed you have seen a lot and heard a lot of stories from behind the bar. It should not be surprising to see people eating alone and perhaps happily doing so. But, hey maybe you are new. I have to give you the benefit of the doubt.


You know living the widowed, single life, going out by myself wasn't easy at first. In fact, it took a lot of courage to show up to social events alone. It seemed pathetic. Then, I started to explore new interests and adventures. I have gotten to a place where I wait for no one! If I want to go, I go! Sure it's nice to have someone to go with, but I don't need to. In fact, taking yourself on a date is quite healthy. You should try it.


Mr. Smiley Face with your presumptuous attitude and Mr. Hot Yoga with your indecorous stories, read the cues. A woman dining alone is not always an invitation!!!


And seriously, Mr. Bartender, pay attention!


If I was looking I might had have a different vibe!


By the way, the salad was delicious. Too bad I won't be frequenting your bar again.


*My name is Jennifer. I am a certified life coach, writer, widow and single mom hustling in LA. I am learning to navigate a new path too. I may be a few steps ahead of you and can help you see the sinkholes. before you fall. I am a life coach and I help people with new beginnings.*

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