Mother's Day; It's Complicated!

Mother’s Day isn’t a joyful holiday for everyone, and I want to hold space for that.

As it approaches, there are so many mixed emotions. For some, it’s a day filled with joy, laughter, and deep gratitude. Families celebrating mothers, and mothers celebrating their children. It truly is a beautiful gift to be a mother, and to have a loving, kind mother who is admired, adored, and respected.

But for others, this day is complicated.

There are those who have lost their mothers, those separated by distance, and those navigating strained or broken relationships. There are also mothers who have lost their children. While the world is out enjoying brunch and buying flowers, some hearts are quietly grieving.

There’s also the internal side of motherhood, the way we feel about ourselves as mothers.

Some carry guilt. Maybe it comes from seasons of hardship; strained marriages, single parenting, or working so much that time with our children felt limited. There can be a deep ache over moments missed and time we can’t get back. Motherhood is such a profound connection. Even scientifically, we are intricately bonded to our children on a cellular level, it’s a tie that runs incredibly deep.

There are also situations where the pain runs deeper where abuse, addiction, or harm has been part of the story. Those experiences are not the same, and they require care, wisdom, and often the support of a trained professional. Healing in those spaces is not about bypassing the pain or rushing to reconciliation, but about safety, truth, and the kind of support that helps you process what you’ve been through.

But if both mother and child are still here, there is still hope. There is still room for healing, restoration, and making amends on either side. If forgiveness is needed, begin there. Ask God to forgive you, and ask Him to help you forgive others. It is only God who can teach us how to love, forgive and peacefully navigate our relationships with grace.

Thank God for the ability to give the gift of life. It is an incredible honor and blessing. But, none of us are perfect mothers. As I write this, I think of things I regret, things I wish I had done differently. But what I’ve learned over the years is this: make living amends. Change from within. Grow. And choose, intentionally, not to repeat what once caused harm.

Part of that growth is learning to accept and allow our children to be who God created them to be.

Many of us come into parenting carrying our own trauma and childhood wounds. Sometimes, without realizing it, we parent from those places becoming overbearing or overprotective, trying to heal something within ourselves through our children. An unhealed childhood can cause moms to guide our children, forcing an outcome we wish we would have had. Mothers and children are so connected, but distinctly separate. Each carries a purpose that must be discovered on their own. And, sometimes, it becomes hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

As Khalil Gibran wrote:

“Your children are not your children.

 They come through you, but not from you.”

They are their own individuals, with their own paths. It is our responsibility as parents to be curious, to seek, to explore, and truly see the child placed in our care. To recognize how uniquely they are wired, and to nurture their individual gifts and talents. We are here to guide them, support them, and help usher them into the world to walk in their purpose, not ours.

There are so many layers, stories, and experiences tied to this day, far more than can be fully covered in one space like this. But my intention here is simple: to offer hope and encouragement.

Wherever you find yourself, give yourself grace.

If this day is difficult for you, go gently. Take it slow. Do something kind for yourself. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes, without judgment; whether you’re a mother or a child experiencing this day with a heavy heart.

And if this is a joyful day for you, truly embrace it. Celebrate fully, while holding compassion for the fact that not everyone experiences it the same way.

Wherever you find yourself today, go to the Father. Your Heavenly Father holds both you and your children. He sees, He understands, and He cares deeply for every part of your story.

Wherever you are on this Mother’s Day, what does giving yourself grace look like today?

*My name is Jennifer. I am a certified life coach. Yes, I took the classes, but most of what I know comes from the school of life. I help women navigate transitions after loss of a spouse, divorce or major life shift to seek a new beginning with structured support. My most important title is mom to two amazing humans, Erika and Jack. I thank them for their love, grace, understanding and support as we all walked the messy grief journey together.

*I offer individual and group coaching sessions focused on personal growth, life transitions, and helping people move forward with clarity and purpose. I also provide speaking engagements for organizations on navigating grief in the workplace with compassion, communication, and support. Email Jennifer_Snyder@outlook.com for details.

#MotherhoodUnfiltered